[00:00:00] Benita: Hi everyone. Thank you for joining me again for me plus motherhood, a podcast where we focus on the mother and where we talk about maternal health and wellness, stories of motherhood, matrescence and the social constructs of motherhood, and about returning to you, to who you are, what you want and how to get it.
[00:00:43] In this episode, we are going to chat about managing your mindset when sickness invades your household. So as I record this, we're in autumn in Australia and will soon be upon us. But seems to me that this year, it doesn't really matter what season you're in. There just seems to be Sickness circulating quite often, including in our family.
[00:01:07] In the last three weeks, we have been hit hard by sickness, including me, which isn't really typical for me. this topic has been quite top of mind and I'm going to share some real life experiences in how My mindset is affected when my health or those of my family is compromised and also the things that I do and what maybe you can do to help yourself out to feel better during that period.
[00:01:36] after Easter, which was at right at the end of March for us, I was taken out by some sort of flu virus, I'm suspecting, for about four or five days. And then I started to feel better. And then my children were taken out. What we found later was strep throat, which is a bacterial infection. And one of our children ended up with scarlet fever.
[00:01:59] [00:02:00] I then had some problems with my gallbladder and ended up in hospital. And then straight after that got strep throat as well. and I've had a few other things going on. So we've had sort of this constant three weeks of illness in our house and it never ceases to amaze me how it can completely change the tune of your household.
[00:02:23] Now, thankfully, and very gratefully, I acknowledge that there will be those of you who are listening who manage chronic illness, for yourself or for family members and where your health and well being is something that is on your radar at all times. So I wanted to send my special love and make mention of, of that today that This episode is more about when, you know, when sickness comes in and takes over your normal day to day more so than, than living with a chronic, illness or problems that basically dictate your life all of the time.
[00:02:59] So for those mothers that are listening that have that on their plate, my gosh, I take my hat off to you because What a tough gig. any periods of sickness in our house really serve to help me to feel grateful for good health and how important health is and how it, it really does have to be a high priority to look after your health and wellbeing because when it goes down, everything goes down.
[00:03:26] So, just want to share a personal story around how sickness affects me typically and I'm talking about when multiple children get sick in our home or if I'm also unwell and the kids where I can more anxious, and fearful about what may happen. You know, how bad is this going to get and making sure I'm looking after everyone well enough, what happens if this happens, what happens if that happens, [00:04:00] where your normal habits are interrupted.
[00:04:03] So your normal habits of self care, your normal routine falls away. when you might have sick kids home or you have to stop working or you've got appointments to go to or the kids aren't at school where those sorts of normal patterns of your world are interrupted and then that has a flow on effect to how you feel.
[00:04:22] also I find when You're in these sick patches. People can't help you. you can't go out and do the normal things that you do. And you also can't have people coming into your home. particularly since COVID. So anyone who may usually help you. can't or doesn't want to and and fair enough and I mean I'm also I'm always very careful to let people know when we're contagious and and not to come because it obviously impacts their world if they're to catch it.
[00:04:51] So I can often feel isolated, it can lead to resentment, anger, feeling alone. And feeling fearful and just being really honest. I'm just being really honest here about about these feelings because there's something over the years since becoming a mom that I've really grappled with when we're in those sick patches where you sort of bunker down at home and you might be dealing with any type of sickness from vomiting and diarrhea or temperatures or rashes or snotty noses, you know, fevers, the scale of low to high severity.
[00:05:29] those are feelings that I've experienced on top of that kind of heightened worrying or fear unsettledness of everything being out of routine. and obviously not only can you have people not come to your home, but you also can't go out. So, you would have the same way when you've needed to cancel appointments that maybe you've had booked for months that you get up to it and go, we actually can't go, we can't do it.
[00:05:53] So you're rescheduling everything, which of course isn't the end of the world, but again, it's just painting the picture of. How it can just [00:06:00] make you feel shitty. So again, full transparency, when I'm sick and, or the children are sick and multiple of them are sick, and there's these flow on effects over a period of time, over a period of weeks, because also when you have multiple children, as soon as one gets sick, you kind of go, right.
[00:06:19] You know, bunker down for a couple of weeks now because they're all going to get it doesn't always happen, but you know, most often it does so I can find that my thoughts can start to spiral or I can start to catastrophize easily, like what if this gets worse? What if I miss something about the children's care and I'm not?
[00:06:39] Doing what I should do. What about if something bad happens overnight? Like, I know with croup, that's always a scary one that we've had a lot of in this household. And like, oh my god, you know, what if I stop breathing? Or what are we going to do if I have to go to the hospital? Who's going to look after the other kids?
[00:06:54] making those calls on whether you should be interacting with people or are we still contagious, feeling guilty that maybe you were interacting with people when you were contagious and you didn't even know, should I be, you know, canceling my coaching call today with my clients or should I just push through?
[00:07:09] Should I be resting or should I be doing things? and the list goes on of all the, the, the mental, um, Anguish and the mental chatter that comes into your mindset and then then it can be like all these types of lower vibration thoughts create lower vibration feelings, anger, fear.
[00:07:32] Anxiety, resentment, worry, guilt. this has an impact on how we then feel in our body. on top of actually feeling physically unwell. But then you can start your mental health starts to slide and your emotional health can start to slide. I'm speaking from firsthand experience here.
[00:07:50] I remember some patches when our boys were, were little and we're out on the farm and Like my mental health would significantly be impacted when there were weeks [00:08:00] on end of sickness and also it affects your sleep which don't ever underestimate the power of or the impact on your health in regard to sleep.
[00:08:07] So I think you'll be getting my picture and I'm hoping I'm not alone here that that those of you listening will be resonating with this topic and it doesn't even have to go on for weeks for you to start to have these thoughts because you can just get pissed off that your normal daily life has been interrupted.
[00:08:24] So here are some things that I do. that might also support you and your mindset when sickness invades. firstly, give yourself a break, be kind to yourself and be self compassionate. Nothing is going to be the same when you're sick. And this two shell pass phrase has, has been a helpful one for me of remembering and finding evidence in my memory of periods of time where we've gotten through sickness and I've gotten through sickness.
[00:08:53] And it did, yes, it did feel pretty ordinary at the time, but we did get through it and everything was okay. Self compassion, that you're doing the best you can and speaking to yourself in a, in a soothing way, soothing yourself, tending to yourself in a way like it's okay. Everything's okay. I've got this.
[00:09:15] We've got this. I can even feel as I speak those words, the difference in my body. there's an energy shift. From that kind of negative spiraling feeling to a more upbeat feeling and it's just soothing yourself in the way that you would your child or your friend or your sister.
[00:09:33] There is a ton of helpful stuff on YouTube as well. So if you go onto YouTube and type in healing frequencies, there is some beautiful music. There's some beautiful healing frequency music. Um, and there's lots of videos that support mindset as well and support your vibration.
[00:09:50] So vibration is just another word for how you feel. Sometimes I find if I can't get to my own better feeling thoughts. If I can borrow [00:10:00] someone else's like going on to YouTube and search for something like positive mindset music or positive affirmations or healing mantras, anything that can lend you some thoughts that are going to help you to feel better in your mind.
[00:10:17] Gratitude is also a good thing. a fantastic way to shift your energy. So finding gratitude, even amongst the circumstances, which don't feel very nice, but finding things to be grateful for, write them down and feel them in your body. Listening to your body, and everyone tells you this, listen to your body, make sure you rest, make sure you sleep, but I know that sometimes, even when you know you should be resting or sleeping, you're still looping around in your mind about all the things you should do, or, you know, do I really need a rest?
[00:10:48] Oh no, I'll be okay, but truly listening and tuning in, put your hand on your heart and your hand on your stomach and ask yourself, what What is it that I need? Do I need to sleep? Do I need to do some gentle stretching? Do I need to get out in the sunshine? Do I need to do some breathing? Do I need a cuddle with my kids?
[00:11:07] Do I need a nice nourishing meal? What is it that I actually need in this moment? Um, which links beautifully to the next one, which is breathing, and the importance of taking some beautiful, big, deep breaths into your belly and resetting your nervous system and allowing it to understand that you are not under immediate threat.
[00:11:32] and that you can relax just for this moment. Sometimes going outside and just standing with your feet grounded on the earth, looking up at the sky, feeling the sunshine on your face, and just taking three, five, ten deep breaths in and out. It's like, it works like magic. Music's another one. Easy, simple. Put a song on that feels good.
[00:11:57] it can't help but raise your [00:12:00] vibration. Again, you're just borrowing some good vibes from somewhere else until you can feel better. Doing anything that feels good to you. Whatever it is that's your thing that you'd love to do. I know when you're sick, you don't always feel like doing any, sometimes you actually don't feel like doing anything.
[00:12:16] And I know I felt like that the week before last. It was like, I just felt like I couldn't watch TV. I didn't feel like reading. I didn't feel like getting up and doing anything. So just listening to some music. Was pretty much my go-to for a day or two. Also, letting things go. Write them down the things that you feel like you should be doing or you want to be doing, but you don't physically feel up to it.
[00:12:40] Get them written on a piece of paper and make a plan for those things so they're that they're out of your mind and you're not looping around going, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. Also, in terms of mindset, focusing on health and not sickness. Become aware of the thoughts that you're thinking, and are you focusing on sickness or health?
[00:13:03] So, for example, purposely thinking, I'm feeling better every day. Or, I'm so happy and grateful for my body being well. Or, I'm getting healthier every moment. Instead of, when you're worrying about, Oh, what about if I'm sick or I'm feeling sick or I'm getting sicker or, I'm so sick of being sick. All you're doing is attracting more like that one.
[00:13:29] And therefore, when your thoughts create your feelings, you are then attracting more worry, doubt, fear, anxiety. So focus on health. Think healthy thoughts. Think about health. Think about good health. Bring to mind pictures of good health in your mind's eye. I hope those strategies are helpful for you.
[00:13:48] Sometimes when you're sick, it can feel like you're just kind of sinking deeper and deeper into the quick sand. and there's no end in sight. With you and or your children being sick or [00:14:00] your, your partner or your family members, it can get you down. So I hope those strategies are helpful in order to lift yourself up, to shift your mindset, to focus on a more helpful mindset when sickness invades and I wish you a healthy season with lots of joy.
[00:14:18] Okay. Bye. Bye.
