How to Make Time for Creativity

A lot of us would never call ourselves creative.

We think that if we can’t paint, write or draw, then we’re definitely not creative.

That was me for many years. At a young age, I decided that because I was the academic one in the family and not good at art like my sister, I wasn’t and never would be creative. 

Thankfully, I no longer believe this lie. I now recognise the unique ways in which I create and that if I put myself in a box, I’ll miss out on all the wonderful experiences I could have.

We are all innately creative beings, and there are no rules around what is creative and what is not. The beauty of creativity lies in its boundless nature; it's whatever we wish to manifest. 

If you’re struggling to recognise your own creativity or carve out time for self-expression, then this episode is for you.

I ask you to consider what self expression looks like in your world. It doesn't have to be any of those things that are traditionally seen as ‘artistic’. It's any sort of thing that makes you feel good and more like you.

And while I know time is precious and not always easy to find, I encourage you to prioritise your creativity as an important appointment. Limit distractions and give yourself permission to close the door and shut out the world for a moment. Or integrate creativity into your daily routines, whatever that looks like for you.

Making time for creativity is not just about producing art; it’s about enhancing our lives, nurturing our souls and expressing who we truly are. Remember, your creative journey is unique to you, and there’s no right or wrong way to embark on it. Embrace your creativity and let it flourish.

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Transcript

 [00:00:00] 

Benita: Hello there. And welcome back to me plus motherhood with me, Benita bench on this podcast. We have conversations about all things related to motherhood, but I have a particular focus on the topic of reclaiming me in motherhood or you in motherhood. And today's topic is really highly linked to the concept of reclaiming yourself in motherhood.

And that is around creativity. In this episode, I'm going to talk about the beliefs that you hold about your own creativity and whether you believe you are a creative person or not and how that might be holding you back and [00:01:00] the stories you might be telling yourself about creativity. I'm going to talk about the different forms that creativity can take, how to give yourself permission to have more creative self expression in your world, some experiences that I've had with shifting my stories, embedding new habits, bringing more creative self expression into my life and the benefits of that.

And also what gets in the way, because I know a lot gets in the way based on the mums that I've worked with and my own life, a lot gets in the way of having more creativity and self expression in our lives. So it's really important we touch on that. So I hope you enjoy this episode. It's very timely because I'm recording this in the week of book week.

And also Tomorrow morning, I'm heading off, to host my second retreat with Sunny Roberts of Talking Marriage. Sunny [00:02:00] is a yoga teacher, a meditation teacher, also a relationship coach and just an incredible woman. Also a mother, mom of two. And so she and I are hosting this retreat. We've got eight guests coming.

We're heading up to Temple Retreat. at Pullenvale in Queensland, and I'm so excited. It's three nights and nearly four days. We are doing all sorts of creative expression and that's the theme for this year's retreat, which I very carefully chose because I feel like it is the one thing we all need more of and probably one of the hardest or one of the things that I hear from mums that they have the least of.

So I think it's essential creativity is essential and not a luxury. So on our retreat, we are exploring all different [00:03:00] forms of self expression, including dance and mindful movement, creative writing, sharing through our voice, playful art session. We're doing a couple of hours of pottery with Tracy Murray from shut up and relax.

That's her Instagram handle. super excited for that. And we're also doing a session with Jackie Doyle, whose Instagram handle is Jack's backyard. And she's doing a session with us on creativity and play through food and gardening. So we're just going to have a whole lot of fun playing, doing a whole lot of stuff and doing some exploration work for sure.

And doing some relaxing, doing some connecting, and it's just going to be, it's going to be amazing. I love it. I love retreats and I went on a retreat a few weeks ago as a guest and have decided that if I could, I would pretty much just live on [00:04:00] retreat full time because it is, if you have the chance to go on retreat.

Take it with both hands. And if the chance doesn't present itself, go and find it. Because there is nothing like being on a retreat, connecting with women, being able to share and to relax and to step away from your everyday life. And all retreats are different in what they offer and the experience that you have and sometimes the outcomes that are intended through the retreat.

What you go to a treat looking for will be different as well, depending on where you're up to in your personal development or your stage of life or what it is that you're seeking. You will find what you're looking for on retreat, even though you may not be sure what it is you're looking for. So. I can't encourage it enough.

I will be running one again next year, maybe two. I'm still exploring that, but quite likely [00:05:00] in August next year. And then potentially in March, I'm yet to confirm that. But, certainly is one of my favorite things to do. So let's talk about creativity. I want to give you a new definition of creativity, and this is by Eve Rodsky.

The book is called Find Your Unicorn Space, Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too Busy World. I have been consuming this book for a few months, like just, Kind of doing a bit here and a bit there and really loving it.

And it has lit a fire in my belly more around creativity and she gives some excellent strategies on how to actually carve out more space for it. she says on, um, at the beginning of it book, The new definition for creativity. She says creativity redefined as unicorn space. And here's the definition creativity redefined as unicorn space is the active and open pursuit of self expression in [00:06:00] any form and which requires value based curiosity and purposeful sharing of this pursuit with the world.

Like the mythical equine that inspired the name, it doesn't exist. Until you give yourself permission to reclaim, discover, and nurture the natural gifts and interests that make you, you. What is it that makes you, you? Have a think about that. Some of you will know, some of you will be trying to figure it out.

Some of you won't know at all. So this episode, I hope by the end of it, you will have a greater insight into it for yourself. I never thought I was a creative person. There's a blog on my website about this as well. When I was younger, when I was a girl, I was always the academic one in our family. [00:07:00] And for some reason, at a young age, decided that I wasn't creative.

Um, I have a very clever older sister who, when we were young, was really good at art and I would look at her and think, wow, she's so creative and would compare myself to her. And I had a couple of friends as well who are really good at art. And I thought I'm not great at art and therefore I'm not creative.

Can I just say, if you also think that you're not creative because you're not good at art, please right now decide that you will change your mindset about that because it is such a limiting belief. There are so many ways to be creative and as Eve redefines it, it's about self expression in any [00:08:00] form. So it can take so many forms and I wish.

that I had changed the narrative 35 years ago so that I didn't put myself in a box for all those years about what I would try, about what I would give a go because I would tell myself that I wasn't creative. I think about all the experiences that I held myself back from or that I missed out on. And I think about all the, the ways that I kept myself small.

And I didn't know when I was younger, I always enjoyed journaling and writing. And I didn't realize that that was also a way of being creative. So for the little people in your life, I Be sure to let them know that creativity is not defined by art. And also that we [00:09:00] all are innately creative beings. We are all creative.

There are no rules around what is creative and what is not. We create our own reality day to day through our thoughts, through our energetic field, through what we attract back to us. So at a fundamental level, we are actually creating our reality through our energetic vibration, through our thoughts, every single day, every single moment.

So we are fundamentally creative and then there's this, you know, the way we perceive creativity in society is stuff that we create. So I want you, if nothing else, if you don't listen any further in this podcast, I want you to know you are a creative being. Tell your children they are creative beings at every opportunity to help them shape their own beliefs and stories around what [00:10:00] they may create in their life and help them to understand what creativity is.

Because it is the most magical thing to play and to explore our self expression and to discover what we're curious about and what feels good. And we don't know unless we're willing to give it a go and to experiment and to trial and error and to, just have fun with it. And that requires a certain level of letting go and surrendering and certainly some fears that may come in around creativity, which I'll talk a little bit about shortly, but just also just knowing that as you work through this for yourself, that you're encouraging it in your kids as well.

So this afternoon I found myself drawing on the front of a white t shirt for one of my beautiful boys who is making his outfit [00:11:00] book week. So I just want to say right up front, I don't make much costumey stuff for book week. Although I now have a better story about my own creativity, it's not something I really enjoy.

That said, this afternoon when I found myself helping him drawing on the front of this t shirt, I Really enjoyed it. So I was doodling and coloring in and in pen on a t shirt and had to overcome all these fears around getting it wrong and stuffing it up and what's it going to look like? And Oh my God.

but then I found he went to do some other things and he said, Oh mom, could you help me get a bit more done knowing I was going away? And I said, okay. So I actually allowed myself to kind of get into it and give myself permission to just, you know, Give it a crack. And I really enjoyed it. And I thought, wow, it's like the perfect example of what I wanted to talk about on this podcast.

And at the [00:12:00] moment I'm also writing my second book and I've committed to the creative process of actually getting it done because I've been sort of dilly dallying around with it for probably 18 months, only two years. And I'm now working with a book coach and I've made the decision and I've set a timeframe and I'm, doing it.

The creative process started a long time ago, mind you, I might now be writing it, but the creative process All of that book began a while back and that's another interesting point about creativity, that it is a process. So I'm writing this second book, Another thing I'm doing this year, which I talked about on a previous podcast episode at the beginning of the year was taking singing lessons, which is another form of self expression and something I've always enjoyed.

Singing is something I've always enjoyed. I've never pursued it. I've never been a part of a choir, a band, nothing, never had lessons, [00:13:00] anything until this year. And it has shown me and taught me so much, which I covered in a previous episode. It still is a fearful thing to show up every week to that lesson.

But the self expression side of it and what that has taught me, what that has given me, the feeling I get from that, even though there's still the fears that I have to overcome all the time is just, it's just awesome. It just feels so good. So. I guess I'm on a mission to challenge myself to pursue more self expression actively, as Eve says, and give myself more permission for it and to overcome the barriers that get in the way.

So what are those, what are those barriers? And before we get to that, I just want to ask you to consider what does self expression look like in your world? It doesn't have to be painting or drawing or [00:14:00] writing or going to a class or again, the art thing that comes to mind. It doesn't have to be any of those things.

It could be creating a podcast. It could be being part of a community group and using your voice. It could be writing a piece in your local newsletter. It could be dancing. It could be any sort of movement, any sort of anything that's you have a curiosity for, that makes you feel good and makes you feel like you.

So have a think about how much of that you're bringing into your world, because you may, you may think, Oh, I need to be pursuing more creative stuff, but I'm not doing it. But when you start to think about it, you you might realize that you're doing more than you think, or you might realize you're doing less than you think or none at all.

And that's totally okay. don't shame yourself around that. You're at where you're at and you can start from where you're at. So in [00:15:00] Eve's book, she talks about the three parts to permission. The permission to be unavailable. The permission to burn guilt and shame and the permission to use your voice.

And she goes into great depth in this book around how to actually do that, how to be okay with giving yourself permission to be unavailable, to get rid of the guilt and the shame that can come with making space for you and permission to use your voice. So this, she's got lots of great tips. I wanted to just share that I have really experienced this barrier to Um, which is giving yourself permission and have coached numerous women through this and that it's really, it's really real.

and in my experience, in order to more space for my creativity, which as Eve highlights is not luxury, is essential to our wellbeing, is essential Firstly, [00:16:00] I have to make a decision that I am going to do it, that I am going to write the book or do the lessons or dance in the lounge room with my kids or whatever the thing is that is my self expression that makes me feel good and helps makes me feel like me.

Then I have to give myself permission. Then I need to make it a habit. And along with that, I need to do the mindset work. I need to change the story at a conscious level in order to change it at a subconscious level so that doing these things that I love become so normal and natural as a part of my life that I don't need to worry about guilt, shame, feeling bad about it, be feeling bad about making myself unavailable, feeling weird or too much for using my voice, all of those things.

So making a decision, giving yourself permission, building the habit and changing the story and [00:17:00] taking the action and you build confidence through taking action. permission is a big part of this. Believing you're worthy of doing it because you so are. And after coming back from the retreat I did a few weeks ago, I have had this real shift in really wanting to be authentically me more of the time.

And how do I do that? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to release that's stopping me from doing that? I feel closer to it than I probably ever have, but I know there's still fears and limiting beliefs that get in the way. The fear of not belonging, the fear of being too much, the fear of being too little, fear of failure.

Fear of change. All of these things that get in the way of progress, of becoming closer to who we really are and what we really want. And the feeling good part of it is such [00:18:00] a important part of it. I want to just read a passage from Eve's book on page 21. It says, no matter what is affecting your life, creative self expression, like I'm describing, is essential to your physical and mental well being.

In fact, it has been found to be a form of transformative coping that allows individuals to deal with transitions and stressful events. Additionally, creativity is also essential to the health of your partnerships and your ability to model what a full and meaningful life looks like to your children, your friends and colleagues and your communities.

And as I continued to meet and talk with a variety of people with different backgrounds, which she did to write this book, I saw strong evidence to support this. So in order to implement more creativity, it always starts with getting honest with yourself. about what is it that you want more of?

What are the whispers that come up for you that maybe you're not listening [00:19:00] to? What are you curious about? What are the things that pull at you that you're not paying attention to or that perhaps you need to pay attention to a little bit more? We are always receiving inner guidance and it's about actually listening to it and having the courage to action it.

And to go after it. The beliefs that get in the way for me most of the time are around money and I should be working. I should be doing some producing activity or some productive activity for example, writing my book rather than going and having singing lessons. It is so conditioned. It is so programmed into my subconscious mind that I am more worthy and more valuable when I'm doing.

work than doing those things, which is totally untrue. When I'm doing those things, I feel like my best self. [00:20:00] I feel so good. And the version of me that steps out of those times when I create that space for myself is the best version of me. If I actually, on a Sunday morning, Um, make space for doing anything that is a self expression of me, whether that's recording an audio note for a friend, putting some music on, singing, uh, writing, whatever it is that I feel like doing recording a podcast episode.

whatever it is that makes me feel like me, I'm such a better person for the day and I can tackle everything with so much more energy. It's like plugging yourself into the PowerPoint and turning it on to energize yourself rather than leaving it till the end. Do the thing you want to do first and then do the jobs rather than the other way around because so often we do the thing at the end of the day after the jobs if we get time.

We put everything else in front of [00:21:00] ourselves if we do not make the shift We are playing a role in being complicit with our own oppression. So I totally get how full life can be and how we can have competing priorities and can feel so hard to make space for ourselves. But I just want to say as a final note that it is super important.

You can start really small. it doesn't have to be hours. You can just give yourself permission until you build the habit of with 10 minutes. For example, when I was writing my first book, the art of trying the fear and the barriers was so strong to write that book because I.

Again, thought I needed to be doing some income producing activity, and I couldn't see the immediate return. I had to build the habit slowly, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes until [00:22:00] it was a muscle that I'd built that to write for a day. Was nothing like it just felt so normal. And once I gained momentum, it just took on a life of its own and it feels so damn good that you just want to do it all the time.

That's another fear is if I actually let myself do this thing, maybe I won't want to live my normal life. I'll just want to do this thing all the time. So it really does start with making a decision, giving yourself permission, building the habit. And habits take time to embed until they become automatic and changing the story.

that you're telling yourself about your creativity, about how you spend your time. Give yourself permission to be unavailable to the people around you for small pockets of time. Literally shut the door. You may not be able to do that. If you have babies, you know what I mean. And permission to quiet.

That in a mean voice and the [00:23:00] permission to use your voice. Let me know what's been most helpful from this. I'd love to know if you have any questions. Perhaps you finish this episode still thinking, well, but, uh, but I'm just not sure please reach out. And it's something that I can cover on another episode or in a blog or on a social media post, please like share and subscribe Tell one mom about this podcast and that would support me enormously. And I would be so grateful. Thank you so much. And I look forward to chatting to you again soon. Bye bye.