Knowing Your Mental Health Red Flags

We talk a lot about mental health these days which I’m so grateful for. It’s brilliant that we as a society are more aware of this topic and it’s no longer taboo to talk openly about things like anxiety and depression.

While I believe these conversations are extremely valuable, we often place the focus on mental illness as opposed to mental health itself.

I’d like to open the discussion on how to recognise the mental health red flags so we can catch ourselves and take action before we spiral downward.

I recently had a conversation with my dear friend Mandy and we brainstormed the idea of implementing a traffic light system to identify our mental states. The green light represents everything going well, orange indicates that things are beginning to slip, and the red light signifies waving flags, urging immediate action.

One resource I've turned to repeatedly is the Beyond Blue website. One page in particular offers a fantastic description of the mental health continuum, showing that mental health isn't black and white. Picture it as a timeline with stages ranging from healthy to crisis, allowing for a personalised understanding of your mental health journey.

Green Light - Healthy:  In this stage, we operate smoothly. We think clearly, feel capable, and maintain positive connections and routines.

Orange Light - Unsettled: We might feel irritable or have trouble concentrating in this stage. The key is to acknowledge these feelings early, especially as we approach high-stress periods like the busy holiday season.

Red Light - Struggling: When you’re in the red zone, emotions might include distress, hopelessness or brain fog. At this point, you might feel like you need professional support from a counsellor, psychologist, coach or trusted friend.

Because we’re all different, your green, orange and red lights will look different to someone else. For me, being overly stressed or losing touch with my intuition is a sign that I’m in the orange zone. Spiraling negative thoughts, not wanting to take calls or go out at all indicate more severe struggles in the red zone.

Creating lists of what helps during each phase is a proactive step you can take. Maybe going for a walk, calling a friend or taking a long bath are things that help draw you back to feeling yourself.

Remember, there's no shame in asking for help. Vulnerability not only liberates you but also grants others permission to share their struggles too. You are worthy of feeling good and are a valuable part of our world.

Beyond Blue Website 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Benita: Hello. Hello. Welcome back to me. Plus motherhood on today's show. We're going to be talking about mental health and knowing your red flags when you start to notice your mental health deteriorating. I'd also like to have a chat about mental health in general and understanding what that really means. I think we talk about mental health a lot now in our society, which is amazing.

[00:00:41] And I'm so glad that we do and that it's discussed more openly, but sometimes I think we can miss some of the background or the context of it and focus on mental illness more than we do mental health. So equally important, but also important to think about it in a bigger picture. Now, the reason for this conversation is because I recently had a chat with one of my beautiful friends, Mandy, and we were talking about putting on the fridge or putting somewhere your home where it's easily visible, Like a traffic light system of the signs when you're going well, the signs when you're in the orange zone and maybe things are starting to slip away a little bit and maybe you're not doing so well and you're just noticing that things aren't flowing as easily, you're maybe a bit more unsettled, starting to struggle, and then you're just like, the red light where all the red flags are waving and it's time to take some action or some more serious action than in the orange zone where, okay, I'm really not doing too well here.

[00:01:47] What is it that I need to do? Because We identified that by the time you get into the red zone and the red flags are waving, it can be hard to even think clearly about what it is that supports you in that phase. And I'm speaking from experience here. After several periods of mental illness, debilitating mental illness in my lifetime, I know that when I'm in that state, It's hard to think clearly, it's hard to know who to turn to, where to go, what to do unless you have developed awareness and unless you have those sorts of tools at the ready to lean on or the people to lean on.

[00:02:33] because when you're in it, you're not at your best self and your executive functioning is not working as well as it should. So she was commenting to me that my awareness has improved so much around where I'm up to in, as far as my mental health goes and which was, which was lovely to hear because gosh, it's taken me a long time to get to that point and a lot of pain and suffering along the way.

[00:02:57] so I think this is an important conversation for all of us. It's also important in terms of our mothering, our children, teaching our children to be aware of their mental health, and in general, for us all to be more aware and more open about how we're thinking, how we're feeling, how we're behaving.

[00:03:17] What's going on around us, how we're showing up in everyday life, and just in general cultivating a greater level of awareness and understanding about our mental health, which is just part of our overall health. Just like our physical health, just like our emotional health, our mental health is just one part of that picture.

[00:03:37] I want to share some information with you from a Beyond Blue website page that I've turned to many times over the years and I think is a really great resource. I'll share the link for you in the show notes for you to go and check it out yourself or have it as a place where you can refer people to that you might be worried about.

[00:03:55] It provides a definition for mental health as well as describing the mental health continuum and what might be showing up for you at certain points in your journey, in your mental health journey. And I'm going to share a little bit of detail from this page because I think it's fantastic and I will also share some of my personal red flags.

[00:04:16] When I know my mental health has deteriorated significantly and it's time for some extra support and also some of my orange zone flags when I'm on my way to that point where I'm in the unhealthy, mental illness stage. So to give you a definition of mental health, this is from the World Health Organization.

[00:04:37] Mental health is a state of mental well being. That enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community. It is an integral component of health and well being that underpins our individual and collective abilities to make decisions, build relationships, and shape the world we live in.

[00:05:03] It says, Mental health is more than just talking about mental health conditions, like anxiety or depression. Research shows that good mental health is linked to improved learning, creativity, higher levels of productivity, better social relationships, good physical health, and increased life expectancy. It says, looking after our social and emotional well being is as important as keeping our body healthy.

[00:05:31] When we're feeling emotionally healthy, we can be fully present with our family, friends, and community. So on this particular web page, it has a diagram, which it titles the mental health continuum. It's like a, imagine a timeline. on the left hand side, the far left hand side, it's, it's at healthy.

[00:05:50] And then as you move towards the right, there's, um, unsettled, struggling and in crisis. And then that's in the middle. And as you come out the other side, you go into healing and then back to healthy again. So I really love how it's not like a black and white, you're either in good mental health or you're in poor mental health.

[00:06:13] There's lots of areas in between. And I also like to think that it's like the dials on it. cooktop where you might not tick all the boxes for all the symptoms in each particular stage, but you might have a dial turned up for certain symptoms and not others. So for you, your individual experience, something might be dialed up higher than someone else's experience.

[00:06:47] Let's just say racing thoughts or inability to sleep, for example, as a symptom where someone else might not be experiencing that to the same degree, it's still one of the markers or the factors or the symptoms of poor mental health. it's not like you've got it or you don't.

[00:07:03] everyone's kind of got their own little, chart of which parts of it are worse for them or harder for them. So this mental health continuum, which is on this page, It says, this will give you the words to describe how you're feeling and to ask how others are feeling. It can also help you decide what steps to take to look after your mental health right now.

[00:07:24] It says our mental health can change gradually over time. We might start to feel unsettled, but move back to feeling healthy in a few days. Or we might move from feeling unsettled to really struggling, which is when we may need to seek professional support. Many of us will experience a mental health crisis in our lives, but we don't stay in crisis.

[00:07:44] We'll move beyond the crisis into a period of healing and then another healthy period when we're recovered. I want to just share some of the, that they have displayed for each of these stages of the continuum. So in the healthy stage, it says, I feel capable and confident in my ability to handle daily pressures.

[00:08:07] I'm thinking clearly and I'm hopeful about the future. I will maintain my healthy routines and stay connected with loved ones. You may be feeling able to handle things, managing your feelings. Your thoughts will be a hopeful outlook, clear thoughts. Connections positive and engaging relationships.

[00:08:27] You have healthy routines, which include sleep and diet. In terms of your functioning, you're engaged with daily activities and you're making positive contributions. And it goes on to describe on the page what to do when you're healthy. Okay, in the unsettled phase, and I want to share all this as well at this time of year, because I know people can be experiencing burnout, higher levels of stress, higher levels of anxiety, at this time of the year and I think it's really important to be aware of where you're at and be proactive in terms of heading into say the busy Christmas period, be really honest with yourself about where you're at and what you feel like you have the capacity for and starting to set some boundaries or put some support in place if you feel like you need to.

[00:09:16] In the unsettled phase of the it says, I haven't been myself lately. I feel irritable and I'm having trouble concentrating. I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling the way I am. So feelings are worried or restless, irritable or frustrated. Having mood fluctuations, thoughts of self doubt, confusion, difficulty concentrating, your connections, you might be have difficulty connecting and or engaging with others.

[00:09:42] Routines, you might have changes to your sleep or diet, increased drug use, alcohol use or gambling. And your functioning may be unmotivated, difficulty performing daily activities or tasks. What to do when you're feeling unsettled? Speak with friends, family or GP. Practice self care or contact, Beyond Blue.

[00:10:03] There's some other ideas here. In the struggling phase, Your mood swings are being more frequent. You feel distressed and have a growing sense of hopelessness. You've been withdrawing from the things you normally like to do and the people you're close with. And it says, I think I might need professional support.

[00:10:20] So you might be feeling emotional distress, mood swings, ongoing high or low mood, thoughts of hopelessness, brain fog or racing thoughts, withdrawing from relationships. A loss of usual routines, engaging in destructive behavior, and from a functioning perspective, struggling to complete daily tasks, and a loss of enjoyment in activities.

[00:10:45] It recommends what to do when you're struggling. And when you're in crisis, I feel worthless and unable to control my negative thoughts. Daily tasks feel impossible. I need professional support immediately. So you might be feeling worthless. unable to control negative thoughts, isolating yourself, have a lack of personal care with your routines, and struggling to complete daily tasks might be how you're functioning.

[00:11:13] And it recommends that you seek support immediately from a GP or a healthcare professional. So I won't describe the healing and the healthy stage again on the other side of this. You can go to the website if you'd like to to look at the detail. I wanted to just share My orange light flags, where my family starts to tell me that I'm stressed when I haven't noticed it.

[00:11:41] I might start to neglect health and well being activities and I start to push through. I feel like I'm in a hurried state and I can't slow down. and I get obsessed about my to do list. I also noticed that I start to lose touch with my intuition. I get very focused on the mechanics of things and it's just like my whole life is centered around what I need to get done and there's no space for creativity or, I'm not really paying attention to anything internal anymore.

[00:12:18] It's like I lose awareness of my body and my, my spirit essentially. And for me, my red flags, or what I would say is in the struggling zone of the mental health continuum, is lots of negative thoughts and spiraling thoughts. So the negative thoughts might be very mild at the beginning of the day, but as the day goes on, they become worse.

[00:12:43] Also catastrophizing, so things feeling So much worse. and this thing of like, if this happens and then that'll happen. And then, and then if he doesn't eat his lunch, then he's going to be tired. And then we're going to be up all night or he's going to be angry. And then this is going to happen. Then he's going to have a fight with his brother.

[00:13:01] And then I won't be able to get them to bed. And those sorts of patterns of thinking I call catastrophizing and they, and everything seems a lot worse than it really is. actually is in the moment. So very anxious future focused thoughts. When I am struggling, I start to withdraw with actually withdrawal that begins in the orange zone for me in the unsettled phase.

[00:13:23] I just noticed I start going, I don't feel like taking that call or I don't want to reply to that text message. I just, I start to notice that I'm not as engaged as I normally would be. And once I get to the struggling phase, the red zone, It's quite severe. Like don't want to talk to anyone. Don't want to go anywhere.

[00:13:45] don't want to engage. at its worst, I've been where I've been at a point where I actually can't, like I can't physically go to an event or something because it just feels way too hard. So it's often starts with, um, loved ones and then goes to, you know, friends and family, not wanting to reply to text messages, not wanting to talk to people to at the worst.

[00:14:08] isolating myself completely not from my immediate family in the home, but from the world in general. Just not wanting to take part in anything. in that red zone, struggling zone, also I noticed, uh, attitude of, I just don't care things that I would normally care about or feel passionate about, maybe in relation to my work or Our business.

[00:14:30] It's not, it's not that I don't care about the people around me. It's more things that I normally care about and have spark for. It's just not there. It's like, I just don't care. I don't care anymore if that happens or it doesn't happen. Everything feels hard and overwhelming. I struggle to make decisions.

[00:14:50] So it mentioned brain fog and racing thoughts. That's absolutely what I can feel. And it can feel like mental paralysis where I can't think straight. Uh, lots of numbing and escapism behaviors. So over eating or under eating on my phone too much. Um, in the past when I was still drinking, it would be drinking more.

[00:15:11] Uh, I don't do that anymore. And that was one of the reasons I gave up alcohol. So just turning to anything. That will take the pain and discomfort away. I can feel extremely anxious and also easily irritable and annoyed and start to feel loss of sense of self. So that feeling of lost, like I don't know who I am anymore.

[00:15:33] What is happening? Oh my gosh, like what's going to happen? Almost feeling like I'm, starting to lose touch with myself. So When it gets to that point, I know that I need additional support, professional support in the orange zone or the unsettled phase. I can turn myself around, but when it gets to struggling, it's time to take some more major action, like stop everything and sort this out.

[00:16:00] You know, get really honest with yourself about where am I at? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? How am I behaving? How am I showing up? It always starts for me with getting really real, writing it down. What is going on? there's probably a good period up to that point, you know, which could be months lead up where I'm just pushing on, pushing through, pushing it to the side.

[00:16:23] Oh, yeah, things don't feel right, but I'll just keep going. and, but at this point, it's like, I can't keep going. This is, I have to deal with this. I wouldn't recommend. That strategy, absolutely nip it in the bud a little bit earlier on. And at that point, in my experience, it's, it's more than just self care.

[00:16:41] Like, you know, you're going back to the root cause of why is this happening? and changing your thoughts, noticing your feelings, getting really clear on how's that inner voice speaking to me every day? what is working for me? What is not? But it's small steps, as in, Okay. What feels good for me in this moment?

[00:17:02] Oh, okay. Maybe I'll put some music on. That feels good. Okay. What feels good for me now? Maybe I'll go for a walk. Okay. That feels good. maybe I'll reply to that text message. Oh, okay. There's some connection. Okay, good. Oh, that feels good. As well as working with a psychologist or a therapist or a counselor or a coach, or even a good friend, someone to talk to to help you move through it, who knows you well enough to help you move through it and has the tools to help you move through it.

[00:17:30] and I think once you've, well, I mean, I have been through it a few times and for a long time didn't know what to do in these situations, but now can kind of turn myself around with support. But, knowing yourself well and starting with getting real and putting it all on paper and starting to share with people how you're feeling, being honest with the people around you about how you're feeling, letting people help you and start with the basics of how you're feeling.

[00:18:03] Self care plus additional support, plus finding the things that bring you joy, even the smallest things, plus starting to notice your thoughts and rewrite the story you're telling yourself. Get some physical support if you can. Bring people in to help you. Hire people to help you. Give yourself permission to stop and have a break as well.

[00:18:25] in my experience, there have been times in the past where I've actually had to stop work. Or change jobs or take a holiday or go away for a while. you know, you need to take action at that point in the struggling point and it will look different for everyone. And this is absolutely not medical advice, but purely my lived experience and knowing what it's like in that struggling zone.

[00:18:48] So, obviously go to this page, the Beyond Blue, website is excellent. There's great resources on there. I've obviously, there are others as well. This is a good starting point. I hope you find some useful information there and maybe you can do what I'm doing and put somewhere in your home or in your journal, on your phone.

[00:19:09] Your green, orange, and red light flags to know when you're going well, when you're starting to get unsettled and when you're really struggling and it's time to do something about it. And also write down what is it that helps me when I'm at this stage? So I don't need to rethink about it when I'm starting to notice that I'm deteriorating.

[00:19:29] Oh, look, here's a list on my phone. Or a list in my bathroom of these are the things that worked last time that helped me to feel better. I'll just do those things again. I'll just start with that. I don't need to figure this out all over again. I've done the thinking. I've got the tools at the ready.

[00:19:45] and off you go. I hope this is helpful for you. It's something we all manage. My greatest challenge is always managing the woman in the mirror. And our mental health is an important piece of the puzzle of our overall health. So take care of you. Know that there's no shame in asking for help. Bye. And vulnerability is important for you and for others.

[00:20:07] It gives other people permission to share their own struggles as well. So take care of you know that you are worthy and valuable of feeling well. Okay. Lots of love until next time.